


Life in a Mountain Town

by CoffeeFueledAuthor



Category: South Park
Genre: Adventure, Drabble Collection, Power Outage, Soft and Fluffy, a big ol' guardian guy, brief mentions of non-explicit nudity, but still is crazy, creek - Freeform, oneshots, requests open, sticks to canon, tags will be added as chapters are posted, the urge to name it Life in a Northern Town was strong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-07-07 21:15:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15916398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeFueledAuthor/pseuds/CoffeeFueledAuthor
Summary: A collection of short glimpses into the (not so) average lives of South Park's younger residents.REQUESTS ARE CURRENTLY AVAILABLE TO ANY AND ALL WHO WOULD LIKE TO PARTICIPATE. PLEASE LOOK TO THE FIRST CHAPTER FOR GUIDELINES.TAGS WILL BE UPDATED AS MORE CHAPTERS ARE PUBLISHED.Latest Chapter: Heaven Help Us! PreviewThis is a teaser for a story I never got around to writing. It takes place early in the story, but not at the very beginning.When an all powerful spiritual being called a Talahaki decides the world is impure and plans to destroy it, the boys take it upon themselves to beg it for a second chance. After all, it wouldn't be the first time they talked someone out of blowing up the earth. But first, they'll need to endure a divine judgement that only the pure of heart can pass.





	1. Request Guidelines

Welcome to my first drabble collection! You guys asked for it, and I am happy to deliver! 

Now, this is request based! If you want to request a drabble, just leave a comment! You can come up with a specific scenario, event, pairing, what have you! AU's are also welcome, though I can sometimes struggle a tad more on those. I am afraid any explicit requests will likely be refused. Mature requests will be considered.  
If you have any questions, its better to just ask! I will never be offended by a question! 

I'm best at writing stories that focus on friendship or more emotional scenarios. 

So go ahead and send your requests! 

You can also find me on tumblr under the name frillythingy! And for more of my stories, check out Not Our First Abduction! Or, if you're looking for a more emotional, shorter tale, you can also read Things Best Left Unsaid.

 

Stay Awesome!!


	2. A Flash of Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by CruelKittenThesis. Thanks so much for the suggestion!! I hope you enjoy!!
> 
> While playing a video game, a passing storm knocks the power out, leaving Craig and Tweek alone in the darkness. Tweek starts to worry, but Craig is there to keep him grounded.

At 9:43pm, the storm entered the town of South Park, Colorado. 

This wasn't a large or dangerous storm, however. Not like the kinds whose churning funnels of clouds would spawn huge vortexes of destruction, or whose pounding rain would be accompanied by a savage barrage of dense, golf ball sized hail. It was just one of those lazy summer storms that rolled in with little fanfare, bringing with it only the occasional branching bolt to crack across the sky along with intermittent stronger wind gusts here and there. One that would most likely come and go in less than an hours time, and that would be completely forgotten by morning. 

So subtle was its entrance that the two boys seated in the Tweak's living room hadn't even noticed its arrival. Their minds were too caught up in the fantastic world of the video game they had been playing all that night. Their ears too tuned into the ambient sounds of the jungle wilderness that made for the level's scenery. Certainly thunderstorms were the last thing on their minds. 

The actual Tweaks; that is, the Mr. and Mrs., had been minding the family owned coffee shop all evening, and wouldn't return until well after the shop closed at 10. They had left the boys at home upon their own request. It wasn't often that the Tucker's were out of town, leaving their son in the care of his boyfriends parents. The two had been so excited to spend their night hanging out and playing games together. The Tweak's weren't about to take that away from them.

Craig took a moment to re-situate himself; forcing a deep, calming breath and adjusting his hat which had migrated down his forehead with the help of nervous perspiration. This particular game challenge was one that he had made it to and attempted several times in the past, but had yet to succeed. This was the farthest he could ever get. Not only did it require an immense amount of skill, concentration, and perhaps even a bit of luck, but it also was made up of several smaller trials that all had to be completed in succession. Failing even one of them would warp his character back to the start in order to try it all over again. But he was feeling particularly driven today. He always found himself more capable when he was teamed up with his favorite gaming buddy. 

Beside him, Tweek tried his best to contain his anxious energy, not wanting to contaminate Craig with any spillover and ruin his concentration. Though earlier in the night the two had traded off the controller every so often, allowing both boys to get a chance to play, Tweek already knew from his three failed attempts at this challenge that this was a part only Craig could fight past. After all, Tweek couldn't keep all his nervous ticks and twitches in check for that long. Craig always took on the lengthy challenges, simply because he could keep his cool. But even though he wasn't the one currently playing, he still felt incredibly on edge; his heart racing and his hands trembling.

Once again, Craig arrived at the final, most difficult leg of the trial. He aligned his character up with the primitive looking lever, pausing just a moment to monitor the fearsome, fiery colored monster lurking hungrily just below him. After receiving a hushed chirp of encouragement from the bright eyed boy beside him, Craig tightened his grip on the controller, ordering his avatar to pull the lever before him. Just as he did, the floor beneath his characters feet gave way, dropping him onto the same level as the ravenous razor beaked predator waiting for him. The instant he landed, Craig sent the avatar sprinting in the opposite direction, and the beast was quick to take chase. 

He only had one shot at this. Eventually, a single doorway would come into view. Craig had to stop his character directly in the space in front of it and immediately exit the area to avoid the charging monster. If he undershot or overshot, even by a single step, there would be no way to readjust in time before the creature skewered the character on it's rostrum, and Craig would start all over again. 

The door appeared. With a stressful gasp, Craig stopped dead in his tracks, managing to enter the passage just before he could become the predators next meal. It took what felt like one thousand tries, but he finally did it. For the very first time, he cleared the challenging trial and proceeded to the next area. 

Tweek threw his hands to his scalp, grabbing fistfuls of bleach blonde hair as he joyously shrieked with excitement. Craig shouted a thrilled exclamation and leapt quickly to his feet, dropping the controller to the carpet and throwing his fists up high in triumph. 

At that exact moment, a blinding flash lit up the darkened windows and a thunderous crack exploded through the sky, rattling the modest household with a sickening grumble and startling screams from both Tweek and Craig. The tv, game console, and all the lights in the house immediately shut down, and the two boys became bathed in the darkness.

"What!? Wh-what was that!?" Tweek howled, his strained voice escaping much louder than he had intended as he threw himself deeper into the couch's crease, trying in vain to hide from the pitch blackness. "What happened to- to the power!?"

Unfortunately, Craig hadn't caught the question. As soon as he calmed down from the initial startle, he charged blindly forward with a desperate gasping, kneeling just in front of where he knew the tv stood. After a brief moment of groping, his hands came upon the old Playstation, and he frantically mashed the power button over and over again, waiting to see that little green light that signaled the system's activation. 

"No! No no no!!" He growled, pressing the button even harder. But it was no use. The power was well and truly out. "Damn it!! I didn't save!! I finally beat that level and it didn't let me save!!"

Almost as if the two were carrying on two separate conversations, Tweek continued babbling as if he hadn't even heard Craig's dilemma. "Oh god! What if it's a tornado? What if the power is gone for good?? Ahh! And what about my parents!?" Tweek began shivering uncontrollably as a true breakdown began to take form. 

Meanwhile, Craig only continued venting his frustrations. "It took me two years to beat that stupid temple challenge. Two years!! I'll never get that far again, all thanks to this stupid storm!!"

"What if the tornado already hit the coffee shop!?" Tweek was hyperventilating now, beginning to notice that faint sweet note on his breath that always seemed to precede a panic attack. "Oh Jesus, my parents never would've survived in a tornado!! Mom and Dad are dead!! They're DEAD!! The house is ruined, the shop is destroyed, and I'm gonna have to live on the streets all alone!!"

Finally, the building frustration coupled with the persistant darkness and endless screaming pushed Craig to his limit. 

"Oh, will you just stop it!?" He viciously barked, stomping onto his feet. "Don't you hear how insane that sounds!? Your house isn't ruined and your parents aren't dead! It's just a stupid thunderstorm that knocked out the stupid power and ruined my one chance at finally beating this god-forsaken game!"

Though he couldn't see, Craig could tell by the subtle change in Tweek's frenzied breathing pattern that his furious outburst left Tweek cowering on the cushions. But fear quickly melted into a bitter sorrow, feeling genuinely hurt that Craig would offer accusations rather than sympathy. 

"Oh gee! I'm sorry!!" Tweek's enraged voice laced with venomous sarcasm began to waver. "I didn't realize your game was that much more important than my families well being!! I'll just stop! Because I'm obviously CHOOSING to be panicked about these things!! Because I totally LOVE being terrified every moment of my life!!" Though he tried his hardest to suppress it, Tweek's composure cracked, tears of anxiety, anger, and anguish flowing freely down his face. "Because you know I have complete control over myself once I get scared into a panic..." 

Honestly surprised, Craig could only listen in a stunned silence as Tweek broke down into an overwhelmed sobbing, his fragile mind simply incapable of handling so many emotions at once. This angry meltdown had been the only thing Tweek had said since the power shut down that Craig had truly paid attention to, having previously been so distracted with the state of his game save, and now he found himself going over all the previous statements to see what he had missed. Had he been listening, he would've known Tweek was about to enter a panic. 

His eyes finally beginning to adjust to the loss of light, Craig could just barely see enough of the room around him to slowly approach the couch, seating himself once more on the far side by the arm rest. He could hear Tweek purposefully shift away from him and defiantly turn to face the other end of the sofa. He supposed he deserved that. 

"Look, Tweek..." Craig began delicately, speaking in the calmest voice he could muster but which still sounded just like his standard monotone droning. "Everything is alright. It's just a little storm that took out the power. It'll be back before you know it. I'm sure your parents and your family cafe are both just fine."

Tweek, still mildly frustrated with Craig's initial response, puffed out his bony chest. "Yeah? And how would you know?" He growled, his anxiety trumping any logic it was presented, no matter how sound. 

Craig slowly snaked his hand closer to Tweeks on the cushion beside him, stopping just short of actually making contact. "The sirens always sound the second there's a tornado." He explained. "And there's a public tornado shelter just on main street. Even if it had been a tornado, I'm sure your parents would've known what to do." Craig apprehensively placed his thumb along the ragged, habitually chewed nails of Tweek's fingertips. "And you know that I would have kept us safe if it came to that. It's just your brain trying to trick you again."

Though Tweek's minds raced with anxiety induced counterarguments to each of Craig's perfectly logical explanations (what if they had simply forgotten to set the siren? or what if the strong winds had caused a tree to fall on the coffee shop killing the married owners?) he knew Craig was ultimately right. They had learned rather recently that acknowledging the anxiety as an irrational deception helped for Tweek to take in Craig's standard approach of using simple logic. Craig had also learned over time that acknowledging all of Tweek's hypothetical scenarios, no matter how inane or highly unlikely, also helped to diminish his stress. It affirmed each of his fears and proved Craig was listening, no matter what sort of impossible situations Tweek's mind came up with. Best of all, it helped Tweek to begin to realize and separate what was a legitimate concern from what were just paranoid, racing thoughts. 

"Mmmm... You're right." Tweek let his hand slide further beneath Craig's touch. "I just got overwhelmed, I guess. I was so excited about the game when suddenly there's this big noise and its scary and I knew you'd be upset about losing your progress... And worst of all, now we're stuck here with-... I-in the... well..."

"We're what?" Craig became confused by Tweek's shift into incoherent mumbling, which was only made worse as his nervous flinches added uneven hiccups to his voice. 

Tweek didn't say a word, but responded only with a turn of his head and an expression of humiliated embarrassment that could just barely be seen in the low light.

That was all it took for Craig to understand. Tweek had always been self conscious of his mild fear of the dark. Now that the power was out, the entire house was cast in shadow, and it was making him uneasy. Craig never really understood why Tweek was so ashamed of his own apprehension towards the darkness. Clyde was far worse, and Craig had put up with him for a whole lot longer. 

"Does your family have a place they keep candles? Or a flashlight, maybe?" Craig suggested. 

Tweek shook his head. "I mean... They might? But I wouldn't know where they keep them..." A particularly loud roll of thunder rattled the windows, serving to make Tweek's sporadic twitching worse. 

Not ready to give up just yet, Craig continued to ponder their options. As he puzzled, he heard the faint sound of the boy beside him breathing a stressed and sleepy yawn before settling more into the far side of the couch, the armrest acting as a pillow. At the same time, he took out his phone and began silently playing the mindless puzzle game he always used when he was particularly stressed. He was tired, but until he could calm back down, he would never be able to fall asleep. 

Craig reached into his pocket to glance at his own phone. 9:58pm. Tweek's parents would be returning home in a half hour or so. They'd know what to do about the loss of electricity. He just needed to keep Tweek calm until then. 

An idea struck him as he stared at the electronics in their hands. 

Using precise taps and swipes, Craig activated the 'flashlight' feature on his phone. A bulb on the rear of the device lit up with a surprising amount of strength, illuminating a small section of the room. 

Tweek looked up from his game in quiet surprise as Craig carefully leaned forward, placing his phone upside down on the couch cushion between, allowing the light to engulf them in a darkness-banishing aura. Craig then laid backwards, snuggling into the other armrest of the couch, the two boys both small enough to completely stretch across the furniture without invading each others space. 

Tweek shook his head, suddenly hit with a pang of guilt. "Wait, Craig..." He sat up, fumbling with his device. "You don't need to do that. I'll use my phone for the light, so you can still mess around on yours while we're waiting..."

Before he could touch the electronic on the seat, Craig silently reached out a sturdy hand to protect the phone from Tweek's intentions, not even budging when the latter tried to nudge it away. 

"No, it's fine. Mine is the light right now." He looked to Tweek with caring yet unrelenting eyes. "My phone doesn't have anything fun on it anyway. I just use it for the internet most of the time, and the power knocked the modem out. You can keep playing around with yours. I'll be fine just resting here."

A warm realization overwhelming him, Tweek nodded and finally pulled his invading hand back, relaxing into his side of the couch once more. Though Craig had tried to explain his decision using perfectly logical arguments, Tweek knew that his true intention was to make sure Tweek still had his phone available to use as stress relief. He gave up his source of entertainment so that the other could hold onto his, and Tweek found that little gesture so unspeakably kind. A fond smile spread across his lips as he returned to his little game, doing his best to take his mind off the darkness and the low grumbles of thunder still shaking the house on occasion. 

Satisfied that Tweek wouldn't try again, Craig also layed back down, gently folding his hands on his chest and breathing a cleansing sigh. He stared blankly at the barely illuminated ceiling above him, his thoughts beginning to wander with nothing else to do. He didn't mind, however. He liked enjoying quiet moments with his own sleepy thoughts every now and again. And the rhythmic tapping of Tweeks fingers on his phone screen, the gentle tapping of rain accented by breaths of heavy wind, even the gentle gasps that accompanied his companions nervous spasms all served as a wonderfully calming soundtrack to accompany his wandering mind. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to just take it all in for a little while. 

It was when Tweek was just starting a fourth round of his mindless game that he heard it. It was so quiet at first, he almost believed the sound was coming from some invisible advertisement in the phone app that he had failed to close. But when killing and relaunching the game failed to stop the gentle sound, he knew it had to be coming from somewhere else. The sound was too deliberate to have an organic source, such as the rain or wind. And with the power still out and Craig's phone still untouched as the light source, that didn't leave a whole lot of possible culprits left. 

Carefully, in an attempt to not arouse suspicion, Tweek glanced up from his device to the far end of the couch. 

It was Craig. He was singing. 

His body was nestled comfortably against the plush armrest, his face softened and his eyes gently closed in a completely relaxed expression, his hands neatly folded against his sternum. His voice streamed from his lips at such a remarkably muted volume, yet still Tweek began picking up the soft lyrics. 

"But you can skyrocket away from me,   
And never come back if you find another galaxy,  
Far from here with more room to fly,  
Just leave me your stardust to remember you by..."

It wasn't the first time Tweek heard Craig's gentle singing voice. He actually sang to himself pretty frequently, despite what one might assume of him. Though his nasally droning was perhaps a tad comical when being used to croon certain quiet melodies, Tweek had actually been quite fond of it. And since Craig cared little for what others thought of him, he didn't have to struggle with the barrier of self consciousness as other people did. Although, the moment someone pointed out he was singing, he would almost immediately stop, and it would be a long while before one could catch him singing again. 

Tweek pretended to keep using his phone, tapping away at the colorful screen. But in reality, he was just listening to that sweet little song rising gracefully from Craig. He didn't need his mindless game when Craig's peaceful melody was there to settle him into a true feeling of absolute serenity.

"If you be my star, I'll be your sky,  
You can hid underneath me and come out at night,  
When I turn jet black and you show off your light,  
I live to let you shine.  
I live to let you shine."

 

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

 

When Craig would wake the next morning, he would find himself and Tweek still nestled on opposite sides of the couch, tucked gently into blankets that the Tweak's had provided upon their return. His phone, he would find, was still settled between them, though the light would be long since turned off. And he would quickly notice that, despite looking as though he spent a good portion of the night awake, Tweek seemed to be slumbering peacefully, his mouth almost appearing turned in a tranquil smile. 

And when he would discover the power had returned and would go to check on his game to see where his last save was, he would find that his file had been played sometime after he had fallen asleep and saved just beyond the door protected by the razor beaked red beast. 

And the file, he would notice, would have been renamed, "Your Star".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ends the first of the oneshot requests! Feel free to send in your own! Check chapter one for guidelines!  
> Enjoyed what you read? Consider buying me a Ko-Fi! I would sincerely appreciate it! My Ko-Fi name is Frillythingy!
> 
> By the way, the song used for the fic is Boats and Birds- By Gregory and the Hawk. It was recommended by CruelKittenThesis!


	3. Heaven Help Us! Teaser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not exactly a request, but I felt bad for taking forever, and I wanted to give y'all something to read. I DO plan on writing more requests (and have already started) so feel free to leave a few! 
> 
> This is a teaser for a story I never got around to writing. It takes place early in the story, but not at the very beginning.   
> When an all powerful spiritual being called a Talahaki decides the world is impure and plans to destroy it, the kids take it upon themselves to beg it for a second chance. After all, it wouldn't be the first time they talked someone out of blowing up the earth. But first, they'll need to endure a divine judgement that only the pure of heart can pass.

The quartet of boys broke away from their huddle to once again face the intimidating drop before them. Their chances may have been slim, but they knew they had no other options. They needed to get past that intricate golden gateway to the realm of the Talahaki. It was humanities only chance. And with no pathway to guide their feet, they would need these supposed 'gifts' in order to continue forward. 

"Alright, we've decided." Stan confidently announced, his bright eyes fixed on their golden goal hovering effortlessly in the distance. "We want to take the test."

As soon as the words left his mouth, a brilliant and blinding flash of light burst from the empty space just above the drop, ringing out with an imposing chord of heavenly bells. As the radiant glow began to dim, the looming shadow of a mysterious being came into focus. When the light had faded, the children could see what it was that had appeared. 

It was 20 feet long from its snout to its tail, hovering gracefully on the gentle flaps of its enormous wings. Its dragon like form was divided into two halves. The right side was decorated in a beautiful cloak of downy white feathers that almost seemed to reflect a light blue aura. A single antler, like that of a deer, sprouted from just beside its long, fluffy ear. It's whiskered face was lit by its glittering sapphire eye, lined with delicate lashes that maintained a pristine curl. It's wing looked more or less like a birds, coated in long, rigid flight-feathers that displaced the air with the greatest of ease. It was the embodiment of light; of all that was 'good'. 

The left side, however, was the exact opposite. An armored coat of jet black scales protected its form, shining with a dark blood red gleam in the sunlight. Where the right side had gentle paw pads, the left was equipped with sharp black claws atop long, bony fingers. It's horn was jagged, its eye pure crimson, it's wing like a bat's with taut skin pulled over a frame of spindly digits. If the right represented good, the left was a manifestation of evil; of the darkness. 

"Greetings, travelers." The creature boomed in two distinct voices that spoke perfectly in sync with one another. Its body barely shifted as it spoke, the kids couldn't be sure if its mouth was even moving. It seemed almost like the twin voices were being broadcast from an energy all around them; something they heard not with their ears, but their minds. The beings only movement came from the subtle, rhythmic flaps of its wings which it used to stay aloft. "I am the Guardian of Balance; the keeper of the light and shadow, and the judge of mortal souls. To pass through these gates and into the inner realms of the Talahaki, one must first be granted a Heavenly form, which I bestow only upon those whose hearts prove worthy. If the Talahaki is your goal, then you must first be judged by me."

The kids exchanged a quick, nervous glance. It was easy to agree to a test when no other party was present. But now that the radiant, beautifully intimidating form of this divine spirit hovered above them, they were starting to have second thoughts. This dragon would comb through each and every intimate detail of their young minds, seeing every failing, every sin, every regret. And what if they should be judged unworthy? Would they simply turn back, or did some hellish form of punishment await them? Still, they really didn't have a choice. The Talahaki would soon reduce their world into a nebula of cosmic dust, with Earth long forgotten. They had to convince the Talahaki to abort its plan before everything they knew was destroyed. 

"We're ready to be judged, angel-demon-dragon..?" Stan spoke a tad less confidently this time, pressing his feet close together and clenching his hands in tight knots of anxious anticipation. 

The Guardian seemed understanding of the children's nerves and offered a knowing nod. "Which among you have you decided shall be judged first?" 

Hesitating only briefly, Kyle shuffled a shy step forward. "M-me, your, uh, holiness." He mumbled, pathetically raising his arm a few meager inches into the air. "I'll go first."

The spirits crimson and sapphire eyes drifted down towards the young jew's apprehensive expression. "Step forward and state your mortal name." It quietly explained. 

Before he even considered moving his feet, Kyle quickly turned back around to his three comrades. "Uh, guys? Do you think... Maybe?" He stammered, a pink dusting settling on his cheeks. "Maybe you guys could... go? Like, wait over there..? Until after I get judged, I mean..?" 

Stan and Kenny's expressions clearly displayed an understanding to the request, but also a deep sense of disappointment. They were so curious, even excited to see what the spirit had to say. How could they not be? But maybe this was more a private matter that they shouldn't be privy to. 

Cartman, meanwhile, responded with a sarcastic cackle. "And miss out on your every dirty secret being exposed? No way!" He smiled a slimy grin. "I wouldn't miss this for the world!"

Stan shot Cartman a glare of disapproval, despite the fact that he was somewhat relieved. After all, Kyle would no doubt want Stan to stay if Cartman wasn't about to budge. Kenny, also pleased to know they were all staying, sighed as he approached his embarrassed friend, placing a familiar hand to his shoulder. 

"It's okay, Kyle." He nodded, his voice, like his face, buried within his soft hood. "We're all friends, right? More or less? And we'll always be together. Nothing can change that."

"Yeah, we'll all take the test in front of each other." Stan followed his sentence with an elbow to Cartmans shoulder, reminding him that this meant him too. The stouter boy only rolled his eyes. He was willing to put up with the compromise if it meant sticking around for Kyle's supreme heavenly judgement.

Kyle took one last glance at his friends; Stan and Kenny offering a thumbs up and a smile while Cartman only clasped his hands with excitement. Finally, he turned back towards the drop with a deep sigh. Might as well get this over with. 

He carefully stepped a few feet forward, his shoes mere inches away from where the cloud path they stood upon ended in a sheer drop towards the mortal world below. Trying not to look down, he raised his head in a false form of confidence, meeting the glowing eyes of the guardian waiting patiently above him. 

"My name is Kyle Broflovski." He stated, stubbornly refusing to allow his voice to waver. "I'm ready for your judgement."

Suddenly, Kyle could feel as an unseen field of divine energy surrounded the young child and, without warning, plucked him off his feet, earning surprised gasps from each of his friends. Kyle barely had time to utter a startled "whoa!" as he was quickly lifted into the empty air, high enough that he was now eye to eye with the Guardian itself. Though he knew better, Kyle couldn't help but take a quick peek below himself, and saw to his horror that he had moved far enough away from the platforms edge that the only thing preventing him from hurdling back into the Earths atmosphere at terminal velocity was this mysterious force that he couldn't even see. 

"H-hey!! Let go!!" Kyle began to panic, realizing quickly that no amount of thrashing was propelling him anywhere. "Put me down, now!!" 

"There is no need to worry, young mortal." The two faced dragon gently tilted its head. "I will not drop you. But I must see into your heart if you wish for judgement."

Cartman chuckled. "Yeah! We want to hear every juicy detail!" He snickered. "Let the dragon do its job!"

"Shut up, Cartman." Stan hissed. "We all know you don't have a prayer of passing this test."

The large framed boy huffed a quiet growl, his fun having been spoiled (almost). Kenny giggled quietly to himelf at how true Stan's statement had been, and how clearly Cartman had taken offence. 

"Before I can begin your test..." The spirit suddenly chimed in. "There is one last thing you must do. In order to see your very soul, you must be here before me as your original; you in your purest form."

Bewildered, Kyle tilted his head. "My purest form..?" He parroted. "How is this not me at my purest?"

"All creatures of the world are first born in their purest form, their own base for a potential heavenly body." The creature explained. "No doubt you have heard such saying as 'your body is a temple'. This is because it is you; pure you.

"Humans in particular have a habit of hiding their purity from the prying eyes of others. For at their purity is a fragile innocence that man tries to conceal in fear of appearing weak to their peers. Thus, humanity disguises its form beneath a shell of layered cloth, suppressing that purity and hiding it from the world around him."

"Wait." Stan blurted suddenly, a thoughtful hand to his chin. "You mean, like, clothes..?"

"Yeah, on Earth, what you call 'purity' is what's considered 'indecent exposure'." Cartman exaggerated his words with pantomimed air quotes. 

"If a heavenly body is what you seek..." The guardian continued, raising its head to exude authority. "Then I must revert you back into your purest form, so that I may see into your heart and soul and judge if you are truly worthy."

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold up." Kyle suddenly shouted with a rapid flailing of his arms. "You want me to be naked for this!? You're telling me your all-powerful eyes can't see through some cotton and polyester!? Can't I just, maybe, take off my coat?"

Rather than argue the rules of this sacred ritual with the child, the sizable spirit merely shook its head in short, purposeful sweeps as to indicate its stern refusal to budge on the issue. 

Kyle gave in with a defeated sigh, his shoulders falling and a brighter magenta stain taking hold of his face. Behind him, he could hear as Cartman barked out a harsh, grating laugh while Kenny emitted hushed sounds of amusement. 

"Oh ho ho!!" He rubbed his dark gloved hands together in a teasing manner. "Things are starting to get X-Rated!!"

Even Stan breathed an airy chuckle at Kyle's expense.

"Save it, Kenny!" Kyle hissed from his hovering position. "You guys aren't making this any easier! You're all gonna have to do it too!!"

The guardian figure slowly blinked its heterochromic eyes. "Only man takes something pure and turns it into something to ridicule. Tis the mark of insecurity with one's own self image. But I do not intend to ridicule. Only a pure form can be judged, and only a pure form may be equipped with a heavenly body. So, are you ready to be reverted back to your purest form? Or do you refuse the test?"

Kyle, still catching quiet notes of his friends suppressed giggles, folded his arms across his chest and sighed. "I guess i'm ready." He mumbled, looking away. 

In a brief flash of light, Kyle went from fully clothed to completely bare in an instant, his clothes effectively vanishing from existence. Startled by how sudden it had been, the floating child choked out a stunned gasp as he curled in on himself, his hands shooting down to cover where he felt most exposed. He was suddenly aware of the strange warmth the unseen energy holding him was giving off; aware of the frigid breeze at these high altitudes that pricked at his skin until goosebumps had formed; aware of the coarse rustling of his tightly curled hair as it shifted in the wind, free of the confines of his iconic hat. 

"Now w-wait!!" His words tumbled haphazardly out of his mouth. "Did you really have to take my underwear too!? What kind of divine being are you!?"

"I did nothing but return you to the exact form you were born into." The dragon explained, clearly not grasping any concept of modesty. 

Cartmans snickering escalated into a frenzied howl of laughter, absolutely loving the idea of Kyle being left mortified in front of an all powerful being. The others were more surprised than anything, now growing concerned of their own fast approaching turns at being faced with this judgement. 

"And now, you shall receive judgement!" The radiating twin voices boomed, suddenly sounding less calm and spiritual and more authoritative and demanding. 

The guardians eyes closed slowly and purposefully, then snapped back open with a slight flick of its dragon head. Instead of the crimson and sapphire that was there mere moments ago, both eyes now projected glimmering beams of the purest white light, bathing Kyle in the aura. The very second the light hit his bare skin, Kyle's face, rather than scrunching and squinting in an attempt to protect himself from the blinding beams, instead fell into a vacant stare. His mouth hung agape, his eyes half lidded yet still purely focused on the lights before him, and his whole body began to relax. He appeared hypnotized. In only a matter of seconds, Kyle's eye's, too, transformed into the same glowing white orbs, projecting their light right back at the guardians.

Slowly, almost as if being manipulated by marionette strings, Kyle's eyes rolled to the back of his head. His arms raised and stretched wide like wings, his chest lifted, and his head eased back so his now closed eyes pointed far beyond the heavens. A new light appeared on the center of his flat chest, starting out a dusty blue, then rapidly sparkling and changing and flashing all colors of the rainbow. 

The process, the other kids were surprised to find, was not as silent as it first appeared. As the light upon his chest grew brighter and changed in hues, wild wisps of smoke began flying out of him in all directions, each one emitting faint whispers that became clearer as the smoke passed by. They immediately recognized Kyle's own voice in the whispers. Some things they even remembered as things Kyle had said to them on previous occasions. It was as though every important statement that he had ever uttered in his life had been recorded, and now all those tapes were playing back at once. 

Some were hard to miss. Things like "Family's not about blood, it's about who you care about" and "I endure what I must for the sake of mankind", as well as things perhaps a tad less poetic, including a rather loud "You Bastards!" and more than a few instances of a threateningly shouted "Cartman!!" 

As another wisp drifted by the three kids, this one quite clearly shouting "Don't belittle my people, Fatass!!", Cartman quickly responded with an angry swipe through the air, attempting to somehow hit the sound. 

"Hey! What did he just call me!? What the hell is all this!?" He raged, swatting at every wisp that passed. 

"I think they're Kyle's thoughts and memories..." Stan mumbled, studying another smokey swirl as it danced through the air. 

"Well I wanted deep dark secrets! Not to hear all the same stupid things he's already said to me!" The larger child pouted, hearing a distant "I beat you, Cartman!!" and shouting back an "UP YOURS, KYLE."

Just as the voices seemed to reach deafening volumes, the process ended as quickly as it had begun. The voices fell instantly silent, the misty wisps evaporated into nothing, the glow on Kyle's chest ceased, and he fell from his rigid pose into a new posture of fatigue, breathing as heavy as someone who had just completed a marathon. The spirit, meanwhile, closed their spot-light eyes with an expression resembling a quiet contemplation, as it lowered its head into its chest. 

While Kyle continued to catch his breath, he missed seeing as all of the dragons colors and intricate details suddenly vanished, leaving a solid gray, vaguely dragon shaped mass in its place. From its left end, the black scales and details of the dark side of the spirit began to cover the base form once more, making its way to the right. At the same instant, the white feathers and intricacies of the light side began re-covering the gray from the right side to its left, moving much faster. 

Light and dark collided somewhere near the dragons left shoulder, leaving approximately 80 percent of its body in the light form and 20 in that of the dark form. A bright white line appeared along the seam where they met, and remained there even after the spirit returned to its natural state of half and half split down the center. 

Finally, Kyle fully awoke from his strange trance. He lifted his heavy head to look back at the guardian, whose eyes had returned to their normal colors and whom seemed to have barely moved at all through the entire process. 

"So..." He panted between deep breaths. "How did... How did I do..? Did I pass?"

The spirit didn't answer immediately. It lifted its muzzle towards the sky, taking in all of what it had just learned and trying to put it into words a child would understand. While Kyle waited anxiously for the divine beings opinion, Stan stepped forward to offer at least some sort of insight. 

"Kyle!" He called out, pointing to the creatures shoulder. "You see that line? Everything to the right of it was light! I think that means you did really good!" 

Intrigued, Kyle studied the new glowing seam that decorated the dragons dark half. "Is that true..?" He mumbled, partially to himself. "Is that good?"

"It means that your heart ultimately favors the light, yes." It began. "You are a kind and caring individual who only wants what is best for the masses. You strive to protect those you care about, and you yearn to pass down whatever knowledge you have to offer. You have a naturally trusting nature, and you often see the good in your fellow man. But this has also lead to your being tricked and taken advantage of. 

"And yet, with all that light, you still maintain a section of shadow. Though you try to be well meaning, your short temper leaves you quick to anger, which can easily spiral into rage under certain circumstances. You are prone to holding grudges that cannot easily be lifted, and thoughts of violence are a constant within your mind. Passion is important in life, but only when channeled in constructive manners. 

"Still, you are young. And a young mind is a flexible mind. You still have so much growing to do, and so many new thoughts and feelings to experience. If you do not learn to release your tension; your grudges, your hatred, your anger; then the darkness can easily over take you. But control that anger, and you will see how your light burns brighter. That is my judgement of you."

Kyle gaped wide eyed for a moment or two, trying to take in all of what he had just been told. It sounded like he did okay? Even though he obviously had things he needed to work on. But did that mean he qualified?

"So..." His hands wrung together nervously. "Does that mean I get a heavenly body?"

The spirit offered a gentle nod, and Kyle could feel his face break into a wide smile of excitement. 

"You will be given a heavenly form that is unique to you. Its strength will be reflected by that of your hearts strength, and so will be very powerful indeed. With it, you will have no troubles making your way to the Talahaki. And so, I grant you this body. Use it well"

Kyle had almost completely forgotten about his nudity until suddenly it was gone, a new set of clothes and heavy armor appearing on his figure. Protective, metal plating of silver and gold covered his shoulders, chest, feet, and back. A collar of engraved gold and inset jewels lined his neck, and heavy bracers surrounded his wrists. The clothes, it seemed, were heavily based on his normal outfit, even coming with his trademarked green hat. Except this hat had wings where ear flaps should go, and a huge Star of David marked its front, seeming to exude power. 

Just as Kyle began excitedly examining his new accessories, the mysterious force that held him aloft began to gently ease him back down onto the clouds with his friends. Once his shimmering boots were firmly planted, he whirled around to the others with an ecstatic expression, stretching his arms and standing tall to show off every detail of his new form. 

The others immediately flocked to him, a chorus of amazed and impressed declarations flowing out of them at a steady pace. They studied every piece, their faces aglow with pure excitement, now more ready then ever to receive their own heavenly bodies. Kyle found himself unable to stop smiling as he heard their little observations about each piece of the outfit, and felt the gentle prods and tugs of their hands grabbing at particularly interesting parts.

"Woah! Kyle, you've got wings!!" Stan's voice suddenly announced from behind his newly divine friend. 

"I do!?" He exclaimed, straining to turn his gaze around and glance at his back to check.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading another chapter! As of right now, I don't plan on continuing this story or actually writing it out in full. If enough people like it, though, I would be willing to!   
> As always please please take the time to let me know what you thought! And feel free to leave me a request!   
> And if ya wanna chat, you can find me on tumblr under the name frillythingy or CoffeeFueledAuthor.


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